Six years ago, my husband and I were living a pretty normal life for a married couple in our thirties. He was a police officer. I was a teacher. We were settled in our careers, surrounded by family and friends, and still carving out time for date nights.
Then came April 2019. Everything changed when I saw a picture of a three-year-old Hispanic girl who needed a forever home. Something in me just knew—she was ours. She was in an emergency foster home and needed to be moved quickly. We said yes. Weekend visits started right away, and we began the process of fostering to adopt.
The first year didn’t seem so hard. She blended seamlessly into our family in many ways. Sure, there were meltdowns, but they felt like typical toddler stuff. Sometimes, when told no, she would squat and pee on the floor. But she was terrified of bathrooms, and honestly, she had been through so much. I told myself it was all understandable. We had good people around us—family, friends, professionals. I believed we would be just fine.
But we weren’t.
Today, six years later, you probably wouldn’t recognize us. The truth is—we carry trauma now too. Our daughter has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, along with other challenges. This road has taken us to more therapists, psychiatrists, hospitals, inpatient stays, and specialists than I can count. We’ve met others who walk the same hard road.
This blog is where I tell our story.
It’s about what has happened to us, what we’ve tried, what’s helped, and what hasn’t. It’s a place to explain why we do things differently now. Why we’ve changed. And more than anything, it’s for the other parents out there trying to love a child with deep wounds.
Loving Bella 
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