Loving Bella

Last year, our Christmas season was calm, simple, peaceful, and honestly, it was perfect.

Just the three of us.

There was no chaos.

Bella wasn’t overstimulated.

And we didn’t have any expectations.

It was just us together, and for Bella, that made a huge difference.

This year, the decorations are appearing, the commercials are packed with toys, and even family has begun mentioning Christmas plans.

It’s made me really stop and think about what we want Christmas to look like this year.

Going from doing nothing at all straight back into doing everything — that’s not what Bella, or even we, need.

For a kiddo with complex trauma, too much stimulation around the holidays can really set her back.

I’m not willing to trade the peace we’ve worked so hard for in exchange for holiday chaos.

So this year, we’ll add just a little.

What Christmas Looks Like for Our RAD Child

We’re starting with a small tree that we’re going to call our peaceful little Christmas corner.

It’ll be calm and cozy — a place where we can make handmade ornaments together to hang on it each week.

Our tree will be filled with ornaments of pictures from our time together this past year…

things we’re grateful for…

words that have come to mean a lot to us.

Those will be the decorations that fill our tree.

Christmas Eve will look the same as last year:

a charcuterie board for dinner and handmade gifts for each other.

Christmas morning will stay simple too — a few gifts under the tree, not an overwhelming pile.

And maybe this year we’ll add one new thing.

Just one.

Maybe dinner at my parents’ house on Christmas Day — depending on how the few days before have gone for us.

We won’t stay long.

Just eating, visiting a little, and then heading home… back to our peaceful little corner.

I really think that will be enough.

And if it starts to feel like too much, we’ll just pull back.

Because that’s okay.

We can adjust where we need to, and there won’t be any expectations.

Why a Calm, Gentle Christmas Works for Our RAD Child

For us, it’s not about skipping traditions with extended family.

It’s about building new ones that fit just the three of us.

The ones that protect Bella’s peace — and ours.

The ones that help her feel safe and connected.

The ones that make our home feel calm and steady, even in a season that can easily become overwhelming.

Maybe someday we’ll do more.

Maybe someday she’ll be ready for decorations everywhere, for a huge tree again, for Christmas in every room — music playing, family everywhere.

But this year isn’t that time.

This year, we’ll have one small tree, handmade ornaments, homemade gifts, and a whole lot of peace.

And that feels just right for us.