This is Part 2 of the “Preparing Your Child’s Teacher for a Successful School Year” series.
If you haven’t read Part 1, start HERE: Starting the Conversation.
Okay…You scheduled the meeting. Now what?
You survived Meet the Teacher Night.
You introduced yourself.
You scheduled a time to meet with your teacher.
Now what?
What does your child’s teacher really need to know?
And what don’t they need to know?
One thing I’ve learned from being both a special education teacher and Bella’s mom is this:
Your child’s teacher probably doesn’t know much about Reactive Attachment Disorder.
I’ve been teaching for eighteen years.
I never learned about RAD in college.
I never received professional development about it.
I didn’t begin learning about Reactive Attachment Disorder until Bella was diagnosed at four years old.
That’s when our entire family started learning everything we could.
There’s a good chance your child’s teacher is learning about RAD for the very first time, too.
Give yourself grace.
Give your teacher grace.
Your goal isn’t to turn them into a RAD expert overnight.
Start With a Simple Explanation
Teachers don’t need another lecture.
Trust me…we get plenty of those.
You might say something like this:
“My child has Reactive Attachment Disorder. It affects how they experience relationships, trust, and safety. You may notice behaviors that don’t always make sense on the surface, but they’re often rooted in fear and survival. Not all of those will be simple defiance.”
That short explanation gives your teacher a foundation without overwhelming them.
Tell Them What They Might See
Instead of focusing on everything your child has experienced…
Focus on what your teacher might actually see in the classroom.
For example, your child may:
- Be incredibly charming with adults.
- Be funny, bright, and eager to help.
- Struggle with transitions.
- May have unusually big reactions to small corrections
- Lie when they feel scared or think they’re in trouble.
- Try to control situations or seek different answers from different adults.
- Struggle with food, stealing food, or asking other children for food.
Every child with Reactive Attachment Disorder is different.
This isn’t a checklist.
It’s simply a starting point for helping your child’s teacher understand what they may experience.
Don’t tell them every behavior you’ve seen.
Tell them the behaviors they’re most likely to see at school.
Teacher Perspective
One of the hardest parts of parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder is that your child’s teacher may see a very different child than the one you see at home.
That doesn’t mean you’re exaggerating.
It doesn’t mean the teacher is missing something.
Children with RAD often work incredibly hard to hold themselves together during the school day.
Many of them save their biggest emotions for home.
Both experiences can be true.
Helping your child’s teacher understand that difference from the beginning can prevent a lot of confusion and frustration later in the school year.
Tell Them What Helps
This is the most important part of your meeting.
Teachers don’t just need to know what your child struggles with.
They need to know what helps.
Don’t tell your child’s teacher everything.
Tell them what will help them help your child.
Think about questions like these:
- What helps your child regulate?
- What usually makes things worse?
- What usually makes things better?
- What boundaries does your family have?
- How do you respond at home?
- Are there strategies that have worked in previous school years?
For example, one of our family boundaries is that only Mom and Dad give Bella hugs.
Why?
Because we’re intentionally strengthening her attachment to her primary caregivers.
That doesn’t mean teachers can’t connect with her.
We simply ask them to connect differently.
A high five.
A fist bump.
A wave.
A smile.
Those small adjustments help everyone stay consistent while still allowing your child to build a healthy relationship with their teacher.
Give Practical Examples
One thing I’ve learned is that examples are much more helpful than labels.
Instead of saying,
“My child manipulates adults.”
Tell a story.
For example:
“Bella has struggled with food since she was very young. One day she threw away the lunch I packed and then told a teacher I hadn’t sent one because she wanted cafeteria food. If something like that happens, please let me know before assuming she truly doesn’t have a lunch.”
That example tells the teacher exactly what to watch for.
Another example might be:
“Transitions are difficult for Bella. Giving a five-minute warning before changing activities usually helps prevent dysregulation.”
The more practical your examples are….
The more confident your teacher will feel.
From Our Home to Yours
One of the best conversations I’ve ever had with one of Bella’s teachers happened because we focused on finding a solution instead of focusing on the problem.
Bela has always struggled with food.
Last year, she ate nearly an entire month’s worth of classroom snacks in just a few days.
Instead of simply telling me what happened, her teacher came to me with an idea.
“What if I only put five snacks in a basket each week? One for each school day. When they’re gone, they’re gone.”
It was simple.
It was respectful.
And it worked.
It reminded me that some of the best solutions don’t come from parents alone.
They don’t come from teachers alone either.
They come from parents and teachers working together.
Building a Partnership
This meeting is only the beginning.
As the school year unfolds, continue sharing what works.
Tell your teacher when you’ve discovered a new strategy at home.
Ask what they’re seeing at school.
Work together to find solutions.
Celebrate progress together.
When something isn’t working, don’t look for someone to blame.
Look for the next strategy.
The best school teams aren’t built because everyone has the answers.
They’re built because everyone is willing to keep learning.
Before You Go….
Your child’s teacher doesn’t need to know everything.
They need to know enough to begin understanding your child.
As the school year unfolds…
You’ll learn together.
You’ll adjust together.
You’ll celebrate together.
You’ll problem-solve together.
Because a successful school year isn’t built in one meeting.
It’s built through communication…
Trust….
Grace…
And a partnership between home and school.
Remember…
A successful school year begins with relationships…
…not information.
Continue to the School Resources Series:
Next: Preparing Your School Team for a Successful School Year
Loving Bella 
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